I hate partners who don't do the work.

Ugh. I facilitated a discussion today. My partner was supposed to help. She barely did, and it seemed like she didn't do the work at all. I just wanted to throttle her and say, "what makes you think this is okay?"
And, to top it off, the prof wasn't there. I feel bad for her, because she has a pinched nerve, but she didn't get to see how useless my partner was. D:

I really want to apply to (and get in to!) a top-tier law school. Sure, it may not happen, but I can dream.
Before, I was just terrified of applying and not getting in anywhere. Yeah, I'm taking a year off to intern and work, but that doesn't necessarily boost my chances enough.

Now, though, I scared shitless of the prices. Most of them are more expensive than my undergrad, and that's eaten through my pocket (and arms and legs). Oh. God. I am never going to pay off all of my loans, am I? Shitshitshit.

Now that I'm older, I realize why I hate the Xena finale so much.

It is the biggest piece of shit I've ever seen. I just finished going through the series so that I can write the Xena chapter of my thesis, and I am so completely disgusted with the finale. It is vile.

Xena betrays herself, her mission, and Gabrielle with her self-sacrificing bull shit. Yeah, 40K souls will be lost because they died in a fire Xena caused while trying to do something good. WTF? Were they really that dumb and slow-moving? They clearly were morons, so why should Xena have to die for them? Better yet - even though she does die for them, why the fuck does she have to stay dead? She's released their damn souls, she should be able to be happy with Gabrielle.

ARGH.

Okay, hopefully my anger will be more settled by the time I write about this. Because I am really, really going to tear this apart.

Dere is Ze Good News and Ze Bad News

Good news:
My professor loved my chapter. She and I are going to talk tomorrow at around two o'clock. Hopefully there won't need to be many changes made.

Bad news:
(Firstly, I am okay!) I sprained my ankle on the way home from work today. I was so mad at myself, because I literally tripped on nothing! I made an appointment for Student Health at 2:45 (they didn't see me until just after 3), got poked and prodded for a bit. The doc suggested I get an x-ray, since I fit two or three out of three criteria (can't put much [or any] weight on it, pain in a specific area, and I don't remember the third). Luckily, she didn't see any fractures. So, she sent them to radiology, and if they find something she didn't, they'll let me know. Other than that, I'm bandaged up and gimping my way around with crutches.

I remember crutches being fun in the second grade, when I broke my leg. When did they get so annoying?!

Oy vey.

I think I might be sludge right about now. I finished the chapter on Buffy about an hour and a half ago, then read it aloud to my sister so that we could both listen for things that needed to be changed, and emailed it to my professor.

My throat hurts. xD

It's 21 pages, plus 2 pages of images. Holy crap, I'm happy to have it done. At least the first draft, anyway. Now I just have to write the other 2 chapters and the conclusion. And my other classwork. I can do it.

I hope.




(I'm the kid. xD)

So, I'm re-watching Xena: WP for my thesis...

...and I just finished season five.
(There are spoilers here, so be wary.)
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I think I must be a sucker for reformed bad guys/gals. Errr...people. Spike and Faith from Buffy, Ares and Callisto from Xena and, come to think of it, Xena herself. I just love them. Sometimes (often, I suppose), I love these characters even when they're still evil.

So, anyway, S5 is the one in which Xena's daughter, Eve, brings about the "Twilight" - the end of the reign of the Olympian gods. The gods all want Eve dead so that they can stop the Twilight, and Xena has to protect her (as a baby and as an adult). Ares offers Xena and Eve his protection if Xena will be his wife (in a manner of speaking) and give him a child. Xena declines, and Ares does the selfish angry god bit, turning on her.

Since studying Homer, I have a bit more appreciation for the gods, as they really were just children with a lot of powers. Ares didn't know how to deal with Xena. He even admits it when he thinks she's dead, but he loves her in the only way he knows how.

Okay, so skip forward a bit: Xena has been bestowed with the ability to kill gods as long as Eve is alive, and has since bumped most of the gods (Hercules killed Zeus, and Zeus killed Hera, so they were already out of the picture, and Aphrodite doesn't want to hurt anyone, so leaves). The only ones left are Ares and Athena. Gabrielle and Eve are severely injured, and Xena stabs Athena, only to find out that she lost the ability to kill gods.

What does that mean? Yep, Eve's dead.

We see Ares laying over the bodies of Eve and Gabrielle, clearly healing them - something that he should not be able to do without Athena's blessing (which she, of course, does not give). Xena stabs Athena again, Athena is shocked, looks at Ares, and wonders what the fuck happened. Turns out he gave up his immortality to save Gabrielle and Eve.

Now, for someone as selfish and self-adoring as Ares, I've got to say that this is the ultimate show of love. He knows by this point that he won't get Xena. She just doesn't love him, and her ways are no longer his. Yet, he still heals the one person who can bring about the death of the (few) remaining members of his family. He does it for Xena. It has nothing to do with helping bring about the Twilight, or he wouldn't have healed Gabrielle, too. No, he truly loves her.

The beautiful thing is, you can see in Xena's eyes when she thanks him that she knows how much he loves her. She also understands that this is the first selfless act he has ever committed, and it was for her.

Gotta say, it made me teary. That, and I wish Kevin Smith wasn't dead. (That's Ares, btw, not Silent Bob. Different people, same name.) Doubly sad.

-

Now, none of that had anything to do with my thesis. Especially since I still have to finish up the Buffy chapter. (It's around half done.) But, still. I specifically chose shows/movies I love.

Buffy - my favorite television show, ever, hands down.

Xena - a joy of lame storylines and good acting (bad acting from some of the minor characters, though) from my childhood.

The Long Kiss Goodnight - one of my top ten favorite movies.

Gee, and I wonder why I love my major. Hehe!

It is a bit saddening, however, to analyse the anti-feminist aspects of my favorite feminist-y media. Still, it doesn't make me dislike them, just shake my head a bit.

Woohoo, I just sent ten pages to my professor. Let's hope she likes them.

Thesis and Buffy and Eliza, oh my!

The thesis chapter I'm currently working on is an analysis of the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I love that show so much, and writing about it (and having to watch chunks of episodes) really makes me miss it. I never got into the comics, mostly because I loved the actors, and it just wasn't the same.
At least thesis is chugging along. I've got to email my professor some pages on Wednesday, so I'm cranking them out.


Speaking of Whedon shows - I love Dollhouse. I mean, I'm practically in love with Eliza Dushku anyway, and I don't think I've disliked anything Whedon I've ever seen. It's a good combo, and I can't wait to see where it goes. I remember, though, why I hate watching shows while they're still in-season. I'm too impatient to just wait a week for another episode. It's too long!

Good news: my professor liked my thesis intro (finally).

Bad news: I have only 6 weeks (give or take a few) to finish the entire thing. In addition to papers and projects for other classes. Yay.

So let's get this crap done!

*

*this is not mine, but it fits my mood. xD

Ahhhhhhhh. Got my thesis intro finished and emailed to my reader. Hopefully she won't tear it apart too much.

Because, really, I'm running out of time to keep starting over again and again. D:

I love my sister. She called me about an hour and a half ago (or rather, left a message via voicemail without calling). She looked at my previous post, and wanted to let me vent.
God, I'm lucky. I don't know of very many, if any, people who have families as wonderful as mine is.

In any case: I've since read through two of the books I got from the library today. I got three, but one of them turned out to be no use.
The are littered with post-its. It's ridiculous. There's probably an average of 3 post-its a page. Considering I didn't have to use every page (there were some sections that didn't connect to my work), that's a helluva lot.

Huh. My spell-check says that "helluva" is a word. Who knew.

I fail at Thesis

I really just do. No matter how much work I put in, my professor essentially starts me back at the beginning.

I'm never going to graduate. Fuck. Fuck fuckity fuck.

Urg. Insomnia sucks. I spent two hours last night tossing and turning, trying to sleep, and just couldn't. I finally gave up, watched some episodes of Xena, and then went to sleep at 6. In the morning.

Not okay, when I want to sleep earlier.

In other news, I have to meet with my professor about thesis. Woo. Not fun, because thesis is, again-still-and-yet, terrifying.

Cupid, I love you

So, Guy2 is amazing. We may be going on a double date with my friend and her boyfriend this Friday, if all goes well.

Why is it that the internet just seems to work so well for me? Not that I'm complaining, mind you. :D